There Was No Choice to Make
by felicitymeagansmoak
Summary: After Felicity's run in with The Count he knows the only way to keep her safe, little did he know that he was wrong all along. Horrible Summary, my first fic.
1. Chapter 1

This is the first thing I've ever written.  
>It hasn't been edited, this is the first chapter to a fic I want to write. Any feedback would be great!<p>

It had been a few hours since she was discharged from the hospital after The Count kidnapped and held her at Queen Consolidated. Oliver had been busy helping Moira get settled at the mansion and she hadn't wanted to bother him during his much needed time with his family. But it was 3 am and she couldn't get to sleep because every time she did, she got flashes of memories from the nightmare she had just experienced.

Before she could stop herself she picked up her phone and was dialing Oliver's cell, it only took him two rings to answer and she had never felt so relieved.  
>"Felicity," he said, not sounding at all surprised to see her name flash across his phone at that time of night. He said her name with such lightness that she could have sworn she heard a sigh of relief afterwards.<p>

"Hi… I know it's late and you're probably trying to sleep and I know you need as much sleep as you can get- not that you need beauty sleep or anything, we all know you have that department covered, I mean have you seen you, you've never look-"

"Felicity, it's okay. I wasn't sleeping anyway, the adrenaline hasn't worn off yet. What's wrong?" he asked with genuine worry in his voice.

"It's nothing, it's stupid really. I haven't even fallen asleep yet and I'm having nightmares. I don't even know if that's possible, to have nightmares even if you're awake? But I just can't sleep and I can't stop thinking about him touching me, playing with my hair, whispering things in my ear…. I'm scared. I'm scared to go to sleep because even if he's dead, he's haunting me." As she finished explaining her voice cracked and she couldn't stop the sobs that wracked her body.

"Hang tight, Felicity. I'll be there soon."

"Oh, no, Oliver. You don't have to do that. I didn't expect you to come here. I just, I needed to tell someone about my day and you said that one time that I could tell you. I'll be okay tonight. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

"If you're sure," he hesitated for a moment to let her protest, "I'll see you tomorrow, Felicity. Goodnight." "Goodnight."

As he was about to end the call he heard a faint, "Oliver?"

"Yeah?" he said, waiting.

"I just wanted to say thank you, and that I'm sorry," he heard her voice break again as she uttered her apology.

"For what?" he asked, genuinely confused by what she said.

"I got myself into trouble again, and you… killed him," she whispered, "You killed again and I'm sorry that I put you in the position that you had to make that kind of choice."

"Felicity," he said, trying to find the right way to say everything that he was thinking. He didn't understand how she could be so selfless, how she could be held hostage and be terrified for her life but she was still worried about the toll that killing would take on him. "He had you and he was going to hurt you, there was no choice to make."

There was a silence at the other end of the phone and he hoped maybe she'd fallen asleep.

He whispered, "Goodnight," and hung up the phone.

He wished more than anything that she hadn't declined his offer to come over, but he checked her GPS tracker in her phone every twenty minutes to make sure she was still at home. By around 5 am he was so crazy with worry that he knew that he needed to see for himself that she was okay.

When he got to her window he couldn't see her at first, that was until he looked in the corner of her bedroom and she was in the corner with her knees pressed to her chest and she was crying. That sight hurt him more than any torture he had ever endured.

He never wanted to see her hurt ever again, he knew what he had to do. It wouldn't be easy and it would be the end of any kind of happiness he could ever know, but it was the only way to protect her.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
>One Year Later…<p>

"Hello, is this Oliver Queen?" the voice on the other end of the phone asked him.  
>"Yes, who's calling?" he asked, not truly caring what the other person had to say.<p>

He hadn't really cared about much for the last year, not after he told one of the only people he had ever truly cared for to leave him. He had to lie, of course, because there's no way she would have done it if he had told her it was for her safety. He told her they didn't need her anymore, that she was a liability because she didn't know how to defend herself and that she was just going to end up getting herself killed and that it would just be _far too much annoyance_ , as he put it, to have to find her family and try to come up with an excuse to how she died.

She fought him, of course, she said that she would train more, she would learn how to shoot, she would do anything, but she didn't want to leave. He looked at her with his best stoic face and told her it just wasn't going to work out, and that she should probably clean out her desk as his Executive Assistant, but that she could go back to her job in IT if she wanted to. Now that made her angry. He couldn't quite understand everything she was saying in her "loud voice" that was actually quite terrifying, but he heard certain things like, "Oh, now that you have no use for me you'll _allow_ me to go back to the job that I actually wanted to do?" He's pretty sure she threw a few explatives in there as well, which surprised him because he had never heard her swear in his life, but after all of the yelling she finally stormed out with a "I'll come get my things tomorrow and you'll have my resignation letter."

Once the door slammed he finally let his guard down and headed over to the training mats, violence and anger was still the only way he knew how to express his pain. He had been pounding on the training dummies for about an hour before Diggle came stomping down the stairs, Oliver wondered if he had talked to Felicity and was prepared for the verbal onslaught that was coming.

"Am I going to change your mind?" Diggle asked, knowing what the answer would be.

"No." And that was the end of the discussion, after that they never brought her up again. They learned their way around the computers, and they just added more in-field work to do their research. Oliver hadn't even heard the name Felicity Smoak for one whole year, that was until…  
>"This is Starling City Memorial Hospital, we have you listed as the emergency contact for a Miss Felicity Smoak, she's been admitt-"<p>

"Whats the room number, I'll be there in 10 minutes?" he asked, jotting down the number and heading out to his motorcycle. His head was spinning, while he thought about her everyday, he liked to think of her in happy situations. He thought of her sitting on her couch, feet tucked underneath her with a cup of coffee and her tablet. He thought of her driving her mini cooper through downtown to her new job at Starling City National Bank where Walter had given her a job as the Head of IT. He thought about her looking up onto the rooftops of buildings, just wondering if he was out there looking down on her. He even thought of her going on dates, making friends and being social. He didn't want to think about her laying in an Emergency Room, he didn't want to think about why she never changed him from her emergency contact, he didn't want to think about the posibility of her not being okay.  
>Not once had he gone to see her in the past year, he refused to let himself go to her window, even if he knew she wouldn't have been able to see him, but he still kept tabs on her. He would ask Walter how she was doing at work, but always refuse when he offered to pass on Oliver's regards. He had been so delicate about how he handled caring for her, but also keeping her at a distance, for her sake as well as his.<p>

He pulled up to the hospital not remembering anything about his drive. He raced into the Emergency Room and up to the nurse's stand, "Felicity Smoak? She's supposed to be in room 105? Is she here?"  
>"Breathe, baby," the nurse said trying to calm him down. Checking her computer she says, "She's here, room 105 but she has a visitor right now and we usually only allow one person back there at a time, but you go on back. You look worried as all hell.<p>

"Do you know what happened?" he asked, praying that it couldn't possibly have anything to do with him.  
>"Her chart says she fell down the stairs," The nurse answered, already trying to accomplish another task.<p>

She fell down the stairs? He got called down here because of her clumsiness and what's probably a sprained ankle? He figured she must be okay and thought he should just leave. _She has a visitor right now_ the nurses words stayed in his head, maybe he should walk by, just to see who it might be. Maybe she's asleep and she won't even see him.

He walked down to room 105 and was relieved when the person that he saw by her bedside was none other than John Diggle, he spotted Oliver and quickly rushed outside to the hallway to meet him.  
>"Where have you been? I've been calling you for an hour!" Digg said, clearly angry.<br>"I must have forgotten my phone at the Foundry when the hospital called and asked me to come down here. They said she fell down the stairs, so I guess its just a sprained ankle and a bruised ego, right?"

"Oliver, there's no way she fell down the stairs…" he said cautiously.

"What do you mean?" Oliver said, and then he heard the voice that his ears had been craving for a whole year.

"Oliver? Is that you?" Felicity said weakly. He took that as his invitation into the room, but he was not prepared for what he saw next.


	3. Chapter 3

_Thank you all so much for the AMAZING responses I've been getting! I have this week off of work, so I'm going to try and write as much as I can. Please keep reviewing; it gives me some interesting ideas, maybe not for this story, but for another one. Much love. xoxo_

Chapter 3

Felicity was lying on the hospital bed with so many wires and tubes attached to her that Oliver couldn't figure out what to worry about first, that was until he looked at her face and he saw the black eye.

"Felicity… what happened to you?" he asked, trying to hold back as much emotion as he could, which at the moment was nearly impossible.

She suddenly got really nervous and started to pull at the hospital gown, trying to bring it down to cover her arms. Oliver was confused, he looked at Diggle for an explanation and all he found was pain etched all over his face.

"What is going on? They told me you fell down the stairs," he asked, genuinely confused about what was going on. Felicity was silent, she started fidgeting with the ties on her gown and refused to look him in the eye.

"Diggle? Do you have any idea what's going on?" But Diggle refused to meet his gaze as well. "Will SOMEONE please tell me what is going on?" He was yelling at this point, not caring who heard. He wasn't happy that he wasn't in on whatever secret his bodyguard and former partner were keeping from him. 

Before they even had the chance to answer him the doors came swinging open as a man stormed through the door, "You came to the hospital, Felicity? How many times have I told you that you can't do that when these things happen? Too many people will ask questions that neither of us-" the man paused, "Who are you two? What are you doing in my girlfriend's hospital room? Because you sure don't look like doctors to me…"

Girlfriend. So she had moved on, although is it really even moving on if they were never anything other than partners in the first place? He had wanted her to be happy, to have a new life, but THIS guy? What was so special about this guy? He looked like a douche with his boy band hair and his clean-shaven face he looked like a child. There is no way Felicity is dating this guy, he was so, Oliver pre-island, except nowhere near as good looking, in his opinion. 

Felicity spoke for the first time since Oliver had walked into the room, "Scott, hey. I told them not to call you. It wasn't a big deal, just a small fall down the stairs. Oh, right, this is Oliver and John, they're old friends. Well, they're not obviously they're the same age as us but old as in I used to know them a long time ago. Well, I guess not that long ago, only about a year ago. God, has it only been a year, it seems like so much-" 

"Shut up, please? You know how I hate when you start rambling like that," said the man who was now identified as Scott, the boyfriend. As soon as he had opened his mouth Felicity seemed to shrink to about two-thirds her size. She looked scared, which is something that very rarely happened to Felicity Smoak. She was fearless and headstrong and would never let anyone talk to her like that. 

"You're right. I'm sorry babe," she said trying to hide her fear.

"No, Felicity. Don't apologize for doing something represents who you are, you don't ever have to be sorry for that," Oliver said, placing a hand on her shoulder. The feeling was so familiar and so comfortable that he felt her slowly relax under his touch. He then turned his attention to Scott, "and who the hell do you think you are talking to her like that?" 

"Like its been established, I'm her boyfriend, Scott King. What hasn't been established is who the hell you are and why your hands are on my girl."

Felicity shifted in her bed and the arm of her hospital gown rode up, that's when Oliver saw it. The bruising, the marks that looked a lot like someone's hand had grabbed her arm and grabbed it hard. It was at that moment that Oliver saw red. He looked over at Digg and he could tell by the look in his eyes that he knew, he knew what was going on and he hadn't told him. How long had he known that this was happening? Did she tell him today? Or had they been in contact the whole time? 

Felicity noticed that Oliver's eyes had shifted to her arm and she tried to cover the marks back up, but she couldn't do it fast enough. She saw his eyes go from concerned and scared to fury, if he had been wearing a hood she would have had flashbacks to a year ago when they were working together. 

"Scott, was it?" he asked, trying to mask the absolute rage that was filling his veins, "If you want your appendages still attached to your body in the next 5 seconds I suggest that you turn around and you walk out of this hospital." He must have been terrifying because Scott turned around and walked out without a word said to anyone.

He then turned his focus on to Felicity; tears were already slipping from her eyes. Any angry words that had formed in his throat were now gone and replaced with only one, "Felicity." 

She began to sob uncontrollably and she grasped for Oliver's t-shirt, she was grasping for anything solid to hold on to, she felt like she was falling into a darkness and she needed something, anything to keep her steady. He gathered her hands into his and knelt next to the bed, he looked at her and she was staring into his eyes searching for forgiveness. When she looked into his eyes she saw nothing but love and concern in those brilliant blue orbs. Once she had calmed down he released her hands and turned around to look at Diggle, the concern being overcome by rage. 

"What happened?" he asked. 

"That's not my story to tell you," Digg said, "You're going to have to hear it from her."

"Oliver," she said, her voice shaking, "I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. Honestly, I didn't want you to find out at all. I had it under control until about two weeks ago when it started to get out of hand."

_I know, another cliffhanger! I'm sorry, but I'm actually writing Chapter 4 right now, so it should be up soon! _


	4. Chapter 4

_Hey guys, here's the next part. I know Felicity is out of character right now, but don't you worry. She will be back in full force. _

_Thanks so much for reading and for reviewing! Much Love! xoxo_

Chapter 4

"What started to get out of hand?" he asked her dialing back his emotions yet again, "Tell me what happened. I won't get mad, I won't react until you've told me everything." 

"Promise me," she said.

He nodded, urging her to go forward, "Start from the beginning."

She looked at Diggle and motioned that it was okay for him to leave the room, they had talked earlier about not leaving her alone with Oliver because of how angry and distant he had become over the last year, but for some reason she still trusted the man in front of her with her life. Once he had left the room she took a deep breath and started her story. 

"Okay, so from the beginning, well after you fired me and I left Queen Consolidated, I kind of got into a bad way. I started going out at night, bars, clubs, never Verdant, for obvious reasons, because obviously I thought you didn't want to see me and I thought it would be insensitive to come get ridiculously drunk on Long Island Ice Teas at your club," he looked at her, successfully cutting off her rambling before it could start, "Right, sorry, well one night I was at that dive bar in the Glades, Cecil's and I was walking back to my car and these two guys started following me. I thought maybe it had something to do with The Arrow, or with QC so I started to run. I didn't think I could keep anything confidential because I was a little drunk, but then I tripped on the stupid heels I thought it would be smart to wear and they gained on me. I couldn't figure out how to get up and run so I just laid there and tried to block them out. They kept asking me for my purse but I couldn't get my arms to move to give it to them, I guess that made them angry cause they grabbed me and threw me up against the wall of the alley."

Oliver could see the pain on her face as she relived the horrifying experience; he was angry just thinking about it. He could have protected her, if he hadn't pushed her away she wouldn't have been in that alley, she would have been at the foundry with him and Diggle, she would have been safe. 

"But, that doesn't make any sense," he said, "If that happened a year ago then why do you have bruises on your arms right now?" 

"Would you believe me if I said that I'm now a vigilante too and that the bruises are from fighting crime around the city to find the guys that stole my favorite purse?" she said jokingly. 

He didn't know how she was able to joke at a time like this, her optimism has always baffled him. "No…." he said.

"Well, then let me tell the story," she said, "No more interruptions."

He nodded again, urging her to continue once more.

"So the guys had me pinned up against the wall and all of the sudden I heard something, a voice. 'Hey, let her go!' I thought it was you, I thought that maybe you had realized that I never disabled my tracker and that maybe you were coming to rescue me." He felt a sharp sting in his heart, he wanted to defend himself, but he had promised no more interruptions. This was about her, not about him. 

She continued, "It was Scott, he worked at the bar I was at and he was coming outside for a smoke break. The second they heard voices the two guys dropped me and ran away, I guess he looked pretty intimidating. He asked if I was okay, and I told him I'd been through worse. Apparently that was endearing, I have no idea why, but he told me that he lived above the bar. He offered to take me up there, give me some water and let me calm down before I went home. I didn't want to be alone, because it had felt like all I ever did was be alone, so I accepted. We ended up spending that whole night talking, he had been through a lot, he lost his best friend and his house in the earthquake, he was trying to rebuild his life and help anyone he could in the process. He told me that there had been lots of muggings and assaults in and around the glades ever since the quake and he had been patrolling outside the bar for months. He was so driven and he wanted to make the city he lived in a better place, he reminded me a lot of you, actually." 

That sentence hit him hard; he had run her out of his life just for her to find someone that was just like him? That wasn't what he had intended for her at all. He wanted her to meet a nice guy who was good with computers and liked the same TV shows that she did, someone she could settle down with, not someone who was going to put her in even more danger. 

"Hey," she said. "You still with me?" He nodded, shaking the thoughts from his mind, and she continued. 

"Well, long story short, we started dating. Well, not so much dating as hanging out at his apartment and waiting for him to come home from whatever hero quest he was on that night, patching up his wounds and then going to bed. It felt familiar though, I felt like I was doing something right…. that was until I found out what was really going on. He wasn't going out and protecting people, he was selling Vertigo. I confronted him when I found a vial full of it in our bathroom, he told me that he wasn't using it, he was just selling it in order to pay rent. He told me that no one wanted to go into the Glades anymore, so the bar wasn't making enough money. Stupidly, I believed him. It wasn't long before I noticed that he was using, he would come home angry and throw things around the apartment. He broke almost every plate and coffee mug I ever bought for us, but he didn't start getting violent with me until a month ago when I tried to flush his stash down the toilet. I thought he was sleeping, but he walked into the bathroom and found what I was doing. He threw me against the sink and tried to salvage what he could from what I had dropped. Once I gathered myself up I went into the bedroom to pack my things. He finally came out of the bathroom and apologized, he begged me not to leave, he said he would be better, and I believed him. I wanted, so badly, for him to be this person that I had created in my mind, this person that would protect me and take care of me. It turns out that was never possible," She paused, trying to collect her thoughts, "so fast forward about a month, a few broken bones and bruised ribs later and here we are." 

"This," he said, motioning towards her, "is more than a few broken bones and bruised ribs. What happened today?"

"Well, I knew that I had to get out, I knew that if I stayed with him he would kill me, so I called John. I told him everything that happened and that I needed help, he told me to start packing my things and that he would be there to pick me up in a half hour. I honestly didn't expect Scott to come home, he was supposed to be at the bar until midnight, but he did. He came home, saw my bags were packed and he was angry, angrier than I have ever seen a person. He pushed me down on the ground and he just started beating me, eventually I passed out and I woke up at the hospital with John by my bedside."

"Why didn't you call me, Felicity? I would have gotten you out of there the first time he laid a hand on you. I don't understand why you would stay for that long…" he said, shaking his head. 

"Honestly? I didn't want you to see me like that; I didn't want you to see the person I had become. I knew how you saw me after the incident with The Count; I know you were outside my window that night. I knew you thought I was weak, that I was a liability, and I was angry with you; I didn't want to prove you right. I wanted to handle it on my own. "

"Felicity, I never saw you as weak, you are the strongest person that I have ever known. I didn't push you away because you weren't strong enough, I pushed you away because I wasn't strong enough. I wasn't strong enough to watch what our lifestyle was doing to you, I wasn't strong enough to watch someone I love get hurt; not when there was something I could do to prevent it."

She just looked at him, disbelief in her eyes, she had truly believed this whole time that he had fired her because of something she did, not that he pushed her away because of things he couldn't handle. Not to mention that he had just told her that he loved her, there were too many things going through her mind, she couldn't process everything she had just heard and form it into words. She knew one thing, though, she was mad, and just as she was about to use her loud voice to tell Oliver what she thought about his actions, the nurse came in. 

"Hey, baby. Sorry to interrupt, but I have to take your vitals and see how you're holding up." She looked at Oliver, "this one right here is a toughie, never flinches for anything. Now just hurry out into the hallway we'll be done in just a few minutes."

"Okay," he said, kind of glad that he had gotten away from the fury that is Felicty Smoak and her loud voice, "but I'll be right outside if you need me."

_Thanks so much, guys! I plan on writing more tomorrow, please let me know what you think! _


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